I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
