This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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