k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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