Screwed.edu
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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