You're a womanizer and a bitch.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
