After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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