I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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