If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
