i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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