my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
