when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
