Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Drunk walkin through police station. America
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
