O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He's on the porch naked. Help.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
