"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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