Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
