My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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