Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i think i have two assholes
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
