I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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