There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
