I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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