When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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