So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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