I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
