did you get engaged???
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The cops high fived after they tackled you
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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