dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
