last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
