it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
