i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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