You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
