Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
