I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
