so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
