She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
