the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
that may or may not have been my penis.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
