Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
