he wants to bone in the snuggie
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
