Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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