Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
