Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
