Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
