Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
