I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Floor bacon is actually really good
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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