does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
