the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
