A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
