White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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