Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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