I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
