Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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