Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
