i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
