i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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